But You're Still So Young by Kayleen Schaefer
Author:Kayleen Schaefer [Schaefer, Kayleen]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Penguin Publishing Group
Published: 2021-03-02T00:00:00+00:00
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Charles bought Matt an engagement ring. Itâs a plain band made of hammered silver because âhe doesnât like flashy,â he says. When the package arrived, Charles put it on his nightstand and told himself not to open it. If he did, he feared Matt might peek inside the box. But he couldnât resist; he wanted to see the ring. âMy stupid self got the better of me,â he says.
He might not have been being stupid. Matt hates surprises. Itâs possible he wanted to warn him that he wasnât just talking about proposingâhe had a ring. âMaybe subconsciously I knew he would look,â Charles says. âMaybe I wanted him to.â
Matt did look in the box, but Charles didnât find out he had until a few nights later when they got into a fight. Theyâd been at an all-day music festival in Jacksonville called PorchFest, drinking since 10:00 a.m., and they often fight when theyâre drunk.
They were at dinner with some friends, talking about work. Charles said something like, âMatt wouldnât be where he is if it wasnât for me.â He didnât mean it the way it came out. Charles introduced Matt to the person who got him his first job in social work, and âI think itâs cool that I introduced him to someone, and it turned into a career,â he says. âYou want to be part of your partnerâs life and youâre proud. But when youâre both drunk itâs easy to misread intention.â
Matt left the restaurant and walked back to their house, where their fight escalated into Matt telling Charles, âI know whatâs in the package, and I donât want it.â
They repaired the damage the next dayâboth of them felt bad about the fightâbut Matt didnât address what he said about not wanting the ring, and Charles was too scared to ask him if he really meant it.
The fight didnât change Charlesâs mind about proposing; heâs still planning to do it in Toronto in December, even though he admits, âIâm doing a lot of assuming.â If Matt really didnât want him to propose, Charles thinks, he would have broken up with him. âAfter the fight, he would have called it off and said, âWeâre done,ââ he says, but he didnât. âWe made up and weâre together.â
Heâs been mulling how, exactly, he wants to propose. Theyâll get to the cabin in the wilderness, where he wants to do it, on the first night of their trip. But he thinks he will wait to ask until the next morning, while heâs cooking breakfast. Heâs going to get on one knee again, but not immediately. âWhen you see someone in that position all brain thought stops,â he says. âI want to say all the lovey-dovey, feel-good stuff and then get on one knee.â
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